Physical Distancing – Yes

Social Distancing – NO

 

It has been ten weeks since the term “Social Distancing” has come into our vernacular.  As our nation continues to recovery from both the health and economic scare of the past few months, it’s now more important than ever to focus on being “socially” present, even though we have to remain “physically” distant.

For some, their immediate family has become closer, as parents no longer have business trips and children are not spending multiple evenings each week at sports practices or other after-school activities.

For others, if they live alone, or if their children are grown and out of the house, they have lost touch with extended family and friends.  As more people across the country have been working remotely, some people even miss “the annoying guy from accounting who wont stop talking about the most recent episode of the Bachelor each week”.  For some of us, annoying contact is still preferred over no contact.

Some people have been using Zoom or other video conferencing software to stay in touch with loved ones they can’t see in person, but others have become more reclusive.

I made my first trip to the grocery store last week.  Thankfully Donna has been covering all of the shopping duties during the lock down period, so this was a new experience for me.  Everyone was wearing masks which was comforting, but there was something that struck me as odd.  It wasn’t the sea of masked customers, or even the one-way signs on the aisles.  What was most odd to me was that with everyone’s face covered, there was no facial expressions to be sent or received from my fellow humans.

When I motioned for an elderly woman to go in front of me at the deli counter.  Was she smiling under her mask?  How about the head-nod I gave to the guy who had his cart blocking the entire water aisle?  Could he tell I was smiling under my mask and that my head-nod was of the “don’t worry about it, take your time” variety and not the “get moving bozo” variety?  I almost wanted to remove my mask so he would know I wasn’t rushing him.

The next day Donna and I took a walk through our neighborhood (without masks), and I was commenting how difficult it was to interact with strangers when everyone’s face is covered.  A moment later a car passed us on the road, and I waved to the driver.  The driver didn’t wave back. Donna asked who that person was, and I said I didn’t know.  I just wanted to wave.  A bit later another car passed us, and I waved again.  This person gave me a quick head-nod, but no wave.  Again, Donna asked me who I was waving to, and I said “just another human”.

For the rest of our walk, I tried different things to get some sort of acknowledgment from my “fellow humans”.  Sometimes I would wave well in advance of the car approaching.  Other times I would make sure I displayed a huge smile as the wave was going up.  The smiles helped.  I worked on my technique and by the end of the walk I was able to get at least one out of every few cars to smile or wave back.  Of course, by then Donna was walking a good 20 paces behind me to distance herself from the crazy person waving at traffic.

The experience of interacting with others during this morning walk gave me an idea.  A challenge actually.  I wanted to see how long it would take me to get 50 smiles from random people going about their day, wherever they were driving to.

The 50 Smile Challenge

 

I set out for a run the next day.  I told myself I would not stop running until I was able to get 50 smiles and waves reciprocated from my fellow humans.  It was more challenging than I thought.

I started running around the neighborhood, and after 20 minutes with only a few cars out in the morning, and only one smile, I needed to fish in a bigger pond.

I started running on one of our more traveled roads heading to the next town.  Things started picking up.  I was able to smile and wave at 20 vehicles over the next half hour, and my batting average was greater than 50%.

At this point I had flashbacks to that great scene in Forrest Gump when Tom Hanks as Forrest proclaims “I just kept running”.

Pretty soon I was starting to catch one or two smiles every minute as I made it towards the center of town.  As I made it through one town and on to the next, more people were out and about, and I was getting a response from three out of every four vehicles or so.  Finally, after running 9.7 miles (okay – walking for a portion of it) I hit my goal of 50!

 

I was very excited to hit number 50 – it was a silver Volkswagen Jetta driving up a bridge as I was running down.

 

I rested for a moment and smiled myself – happy with the knowledge that perhaps a smile from a random runner that morning would brighten someone else’s day.  Perhaps my effort encouraged those drivers to smile at others that they encountered throughout their day.  After all, we’re all in this together.

The story doesn’t end here.  The good news is that I was able to hit my goal of 50 smiles and return home victorious in my quest.  The bad news is that I was now close to 10 miles away from home.

As I started the return trip home I wasn’t paying too much attention to the cars passing me.  After all, I had done my duty influencing 50 drivers already.

I was taking a different route home, so I thought it couldn’t hurt to see if I would run into more or less friendly drivers on the second leg of my 50 Smile Challenge.  It was more.  A lot more.

 

By the time I made it home, I was able to log 126 smiles!

 

Chances are none of those drivers remember the crazy jogger smiling that day, but I remember them.  When someone waved back I wondered if they were having a good day or a bad day before our encounter?  When someone didn’t wave back I wondered if their minds were elsewhere – perhaps they had loved ones sickened by the virus, or perhaps they or a family member had lost their jobs.  I said a quick prayer for all of them.

We are all in this together.  Those 126 smiles helped reconnect me with the outside world.  If you get a chance to try this yourself, set a simple goal of 5-10 smiles.  You won’t be able to get them at the grocery store or anywhere else masks are worn, but you might be able to get them walking around your neighborhood.  You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel by brightening someone else’s day.

 

 

About the author

William B. Burns, Jr. CFP® is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER professional and President of Burns Matteson Capital Management, a Financial Planning and Investment Advisory Firm with clients in 21 states throughout the US. He helps high-net-worth families reduce the worry and anxiety sometimes associated with wealth, allowing families to reclaim that time to reinvest back into their family, social, and professional relationships. www.BurnsMatteson.com